Raw Muthafuckin’ Brownies

Posted on September 29, 2011 by hollysmall

Okay, so it’s been a little while since I last posted. I must digress from food talk for a short moment since this week has been nuts! Anyway, I used to work for a little company you might be familiar with called Borders. If you’ve seen the news the past few months you probably know that the company went out of business. As you can guess, we’ve been through a crazy couple months of liquidation and as of Sept 16th, my co-workers and I are out of a job. We’ve dealt with messes of books, crazy customers, insanely long lines, and, of course, your friendly neighborhood crackheads. The stress level was high, the atmosphere bittersweet, and we all started going a little out of our minds. Then, after the last day, we had an ‘end of job’ party and everyone just went kind of crazy. Actually, it lasted pretty much through the whole week. It was cathartic and a great bonding experience. It was also largely a drunk bonding experience, but alcohol is on the list of what I can’t ingest at this time. However, my (now former) GM, Atlanta (yes, like the city) brought something else wonderful to our party that I’m only sort of not supposed to have…

Raw brownies. What??!! Okay, let me explain. If you don’t already know, raw food is when, instead of cooking food, you usually grind raw ingredients up in different ways to create recipes. Honestly, it never was my thing (mostly because I’m no fan of pretending something is something that it isn’t - like a raw ‘burger’) but these most definitely qualify as brownies to me! This recipe is so simple, delicious, and healthy that it will be one of my favorite desserts even once I can eat other sweets again!

Basically, the recipe is just cacao, walnuts, dates, and sea salt (add almonds if you like) ground up and packed in a brownie pan. The walnuts act like a flour and the dates provide the sugar and hold everything together. Speaking of sugar, dates are a high sugar fruit which is why they are still something I shouldn’t be having quite yet, but they also have a lot of fiber and minerals. I indulged just this one time and it was totally worth it. Dates are a great sweet ingredient for people who want to cut down on simple sugars. And I’m telling you, these brownies don’t taste fruity at all. They’re just sweet chocolatey goodness! I honestly couldn’t believe how wonderful they tasted. If you want a full recipe, I found a great one here. In this article they further explain the health benefits of each specific ingredient as well. Also, it will make you want to eat the photos.

Discovering raw brownies has been one of the happiest experiences with food I’ve had in a while. It means there’s still hope for people like me who love sweets and chocolate. Now it’s still possible to eat these things regularly and continue to feel good. Not to mention to actually get health benefits- from a brownie! Wtf?!

Lastly, just gotta say, my Borders crew rules! You guys have been by far the best staff I’ve ever been a part of! Keep kicking ass. So long and thanks for all the brownies. ;D

Really Old Sandwiches and Bible Bread??

Posted on September 2, 2011 by hollysmall

I love the story of the invention of the sandwich. I love that story… because it is a ridiculous story. It’s so ridiculous! You know how it goes, right? It goes that basically, some rich white guy invented it. Invented it; The Earl of Sandwich. No one had ever held meat with bread before. This was in the 1700s; the time of Benjamin Franklin. Of all the the technological advances we’d made as a species up to this point in history, no one had ever thought of holding meat with bread? Of course, it’s not true.

In the Middle Ages, sometimes bread was used as plates. Meat held with bread has been served in the Mediterranean and the Middle East for years. The Earl traveled to these places and had seen this and made the practice popular in Western society. The Hawaiian Islands were also once named for The Earl of Sandwich since he supported James Cook; the explorer who ‘discovered’ them. It’s just another example of some dude going around naming things after himself. It was like,

Earl of Sandwich: “Meat and bread! I’ll call it the Sandwich!”

Earl of Sandwich: “I’ve helped to discover a new chain of islands! I’ll call them the Sandwich Islands!”

Someone else: “But these islands are already inhabited, and they already have names-”

Earl of Sandwich: “The Sandwich Islands! …And the people shall be the Sandwich People!… And their offspring shall be the Sandwich Children!”

Mmmm. Delicious…

Anyway! I went on a tangent there but speaking of ancient sandwiches, here’s an interesting tip. On my diet, all grains are off limits…EXCEPT sprouted grains. There is a bread called Ezekiel Bread that has, thankfully, made it possible for me to, once again, enjoy our modern sandwich. It’s unlike anything else.

Ok, so the recipe for Ezekiel Bread comes from a bible verse; Ezekiel 4:9, to be exact. It might seem odd, but if you combine the ingredients it lists, the recipe does, in fact, make a healthy, delicious, bread. It’s a bread that’s healthy enough to sustain a person if they don’t have much food. Well, they don’t follow the recipe exactly; like how it’s not cooked over cow dung anymore. It reminds me of how my boyfriend found a sandwich recipe in the book, The Godfather. It’s a bell pepper sandwich and it’s crazy, super tasty. In fact, here it is. Believe me, it’s good (oh, and also, no cow dung). But I digress…

Ezekiel Bread is made from six grains and legumes, sprouted in filtered water. It’s the sprouting that makes the difference. Sprouting increases vitamin content and releases enzymes to help make it more digestible. And combining the different kinds of sprouts creates a complete protein (great for all you vegetarians). The bread contains a superior quality protein that closely parallels the protein found in milk and eggs, containing all 9 essential amino acids (the building blocks of protein). In total, there are 18 amino acids present in this bread. It’s less like carbs and more like protein so I don’t have trouble digesting it.

Healthy stuff; and it’s good, seriously. I’ve tried different hippy breads and hated many of them, but this just tastes like a good whole wheat. It has no preservatives so make sure to keep it in the fridge, or the freezer. And I recommend toasting it. And covering it with butter. Yum!

Coconuts Are Made of Magic

Posted on August 23, 2011 by hollysmall

Coconuts are super healthy! Who knew? Not me, I had no idea. I only found out because I’m supposed to have coconut oil on my diet. I did some research and I found that they seem to contain pure magic. There are so many good things about them it’s crazy. Crazy, I tell you! Crazy!!! Here’s a list of fantastic stuff about coconuts:

- They have potent anti-viral, anti-bacterial, and anti-fungal properties (in layman’s terms, they kill bad germs. Hey, that rhymed!).

- They’re full of fiber, protein, and vitamins

- Fresh coconut juice (the liquid or water inside the coconut; coconut milk is from pressing the meat) is one of the highest sources of electrolytes known to man, and can be used to prevent dehydration (natural sports drink)

- What’s responsible for most of their health benefits is their high content of lauric acid, a medium chain fatty acid. The medium-chain fats are similar to fats that are only found in mother’s milk (I know, sounds weird, but it’s hard to find stuff that good for you)

- Coconut oil is very high in saturated fat, namely 87 percent saturated, BUT if it’s unrefined, virgin coconut oil, it is actually beneficial. It’s good for digestion, the immune system, helps your metabolism, and aids in weight-loss. These types of fats aren’t stored in the body, they’re converted into energy

- The lauric acid may also be effective in fighting yeast, fungi, and other viruses such as measles, Herpes simplex, and influenza

- Coconut oil is also great for skin, hair, and nails (I use it for moisturizer and it works awesomely)

Wowzers. So anyway, it’s good stuff. Eat the meat, drink the water and the milk (unsweetened!), and use the oil. I’m supposed to take coconut oil to help get my immune system back on track and since taking it I’ve seen the benefits. The only thing is, I’m supposed to take a lot of it; 4 to 6 tablespoons a day! That might not sound like a lot, but try eating coconut oil straight some time. It’s like eating unsweetened coconut Vaseline (Gah!). It was tough to choke it down. But THEN my friend Beth (@crystalbethboom, http://www.thefrankagency.org/) hipped me to something so incredibly yummy, it makes taking my ‘medicine’ not only easy, but totally enjoyable. It is my new favorite healthy snack, coconut butter!

Coconut butter is often confused with coconut oil since coconut oil is solid, with a consistency like butter, when it’s room temperature. However, coconut oil is the straight oil from pressed coconut meat. It has a mild flavor and is great for cooking and adding to smoothies. I think you can even use it to make vegan ice cream. Coconut butter, on the other hand, is just when you grind up coconut meat into a spread (a low carb, low sugar spread!). You can use it just like peanut butter or almond butter. I can just eat it with a spoon. It’s soooo good. If you added a little sweetener, it would be icing. The other great thing is that it’s 70% oil, so I just mix it with a little of the straight coconut oil and it becomes medicine AND a snack.

So, if you love coconuts, or even kind of like them, it’s great to know how great they are. If you hate coconuts, then this post probably wasn’t very interesting or useful.

POTATOES!!!! POTATOES!!!!!!

Posted on August 16, 2011 by hollysmall

POTATOES!!! POTATOES potatoes potatoes potatoes!!! I miss them soooo much. Talk about something I hate to live without. French fries, chips, mashed, scalloped, oh man, I saw some kick-ass looking latkes at the store today. Agghh. Sadly, potatoes are all starch. Starch turns straight into sugar, so none for me. Luckily, I found a replacement.

Enter the sweet potato. Ohhh I love sweet potatoes! They’ve helped make my life worth living, again. So yummy and, thank goodness, healthy. It might seem backwards that the ‘sweet’ version of something could be healthier, but it’s true. There’s all sorts of great stuff in there. First of all, they are low on the glycemic index, which means they break down slowly and don’t make your blood sugar spike. They are packed with vitamins and minerals; high in vitamin A (betacarotene) and vitamin C (both are powerful antioxidants), vitamin B6, thiamine, niacin, potassium and copper. They are also a good source of protein, calcium, vitamin E. When eaten with the skin, they have more fiber than oatmeal! They can help regulate digestion and are beneficial for low blood pressure. Not to mention that they are freaking tasty.

Amazing amazing amazing. I don’t know how something so wonderful can be real. Thanks to the sweet potato, I finally have a side to go with almost anything else I eat. I can have one with a big frigging steak (soo good), or a piece of chicken, or a sandwich, or just eat one as a snack or small meal. Make some garlic butter and add in some rosemary and mash it all in, heaven. Even if you ARE able to have regular potatoes, don’t forget about this other amazing root. Mix it up a now and then, and I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.

I love you sweet potato!! Thanks for being a thing that exists! In fact, I love sweet potatoes so much, I made a t-shirt. See it here– http://www.zazzle.com/hollysmall*

What the Hell-thy?

Posted on August 9, 2011 by hollysmall

I never thought I’d be one of those ‘health’ people. I wasn’t totally unhealthy either (I like salad and such) I just thought the whole health culture was lame. It seemed like a bunch of smug individuals making you feel like less of a person for enjoying crappy foods (hey, we’re not all obese, I can eat a Twinkie now and then, bitch! Don’t look at me!). However, because of my condition, the tide has turned! Now I’m the one talking about low-sugar, low-carb, calories, fiber, the glycemic index, blah blah blah. I can speak to these health-types in their own language. Plus, I’m legitimately a thin person now, so I feel like I’ve infiltrated some sort of secret society. I wasn’t fat before (shut up!), I just had gained a few extra pounds the last couple of years because my body decided it couldn’t digest properly. Now, after being forced to cut out sugar, I miss it for sure (AAAGHHH!!) but there have been actual benefits. I’ve learned a ton about what is actually good to eat, and what isn’t. And guess what? Want to lose weight fast, have better skin, better hair, and more energy? Not eating sugar is the key. I know, I know, this sucks and is impossible. I HAD to do it because I got sick. That’s the only way I made it happen (hooray for illness?). It’s really really hard not only because sugar is delicious, but as I soon found out, it’s in every fucking food item you find anywhere.

Sugar; you expect to find it in things like cookies and candy, right? Well, other things break down into sugar once you eat them- bread, potatoes, rice (even brown rice), pasta and almost every kind of grain you can imagine. By the way, corn is a grain, guys, so none for me (fuck you, corn!). Also, and this is a big one – FRUIT. But wait, fruit sugar is good sugar right? Wrong! Well, not totally wrong, but my body still can’t tell the difference between fruit sugar and all sugar, and if you’re trying to cut out sugar to lose weight, fruit can fuck your shit up. Yes, there’re vitamins and fiber in there as well, you just have to watch it. Also, fruit juice has tons of sugar (even if it’s 100% juice) and you don’t get the fiber so be careful with that as well.

Ok, so far, you can see how this is torture. Now we get to the fact that almost every food item has added sugar. Bread, soup, chips, crackers, meat items, etc. Just play a game and see how many foods you can find at the grocery store without sugar added. It’s frustrating. Thank goodness I have a Whole Foods close by or I would be starving (yes, it’s expensive; one horrible thing about this country is that if you want to be healthy, it’ll cost you. Just one more way to say ‘screw you’ to poor people. Awesome). Anyway, lastly you have condiments. Now, this really drives me crazy. Do you know how much sugar is in salad dressing? Lots. And ketchup? Mustard? Mayo, for Gods sake?! I need SOMETHING to put on all the bland stuff I have to eat! I have spent so much time looking at condiment ingredients just trying to find ONE I can ingest. I’m not supposed to have vinegar either, so that helps, haha (apple cider vinegar seems okay, though). I finally had some success. Whole foods has a couple of great mustards with AVC and no sweetener. Although every single freaking mayonnaise they sell has sugar or honey (WHY??!) I found ONE at Trader Joes that has no sweetener and also uses ACV.

Oh, you folks that can still eat crap don’t know how good you have it. You can go to parties and restaurants and not worry about getting sick. Also, many people are also able to drink booze. Not me! Sugar! Again! I am happy to have great skin now and that my smallest jeans fit, but man, I still want that Twinkie. And some whiskey to wash it down.

“Fuck You, Corn” is now a t-shirt! Find it here- http://www.zazzle.com/fuck_you_corn_basic_t_shirt-235403769759408739 censored version here- http://www.zazzle.com/censored_corn_basic_t_shirt-235869812550167755

My Year(s?) Without Sugar

Posted on August 1, 2011 by hollysmall

Ok, so here goes. A couple of years ago, I got pneumonia (sunny subject to start with, right?). A combination of the sickness, antibiotics, stress, and not the best diet in the world pretty much ruined my immune system. I never really bounced back completely. So now, a couple years later, my digestive system freaked out. I am in the process of fixing it, and I can definitely get better, but for the time being, my body can not digest sugar. At all. Not just fun stuff like cookies and candy, but ALL forms of sugar. No more bread, rice, potatoes, corn, ANY grains, OR FRUIT! Plus, to get my system fixed, it can take a very long time- months to years! So I am on the strictest diet I’ve ever eaten in my life.

I began weening myself off of life’s more delicious foods in November of 2010 and I may still be off them until sometime in 2012. This past (almost a) year has been a roller coaster of emotions and cravings so I figured I’d vent it out in this blog. This whole thing has been a crazy learning experience for me, so maybe some folks will find it interesting and, hopefully, find some humor in my journey (yes! laugh at my pain!). Also, if anyone out there is going through the same thing, they’ll know they’re not the only ones. I will continue to post about what I’m eating, what I’m not eating, and how crazy it’s making me. Hey, they’re might even be some positive stuff in here too.

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